12 Days of Manual: RedEye’s least favorite holiday songs
E. Streeter (12, J&C, left) and Jack Foldyna (11, YPAS, right) from The Happy Yew perform at Red/White Week’s annual Ramstock music festival. Photo by Pieper Mallett.
December 14, 2017
The holidays yield all sorts of traditions: baking cookies, watching winter themed movies, viewing lights through the city and listening to holiday music. In this edition of the Listology series, the Manual RedEye staff brings you their least favorite holiday songs that are typically on blast during the winter months.
The songs that make us cringe
Olivia Evans:Â The worst Holiday song is “Little Drummer Boy.” There are 40 lyrics in this song, yet only 17 of them are words other than, âPa rum pum pum pum.â While this song attempts to explain the story of the three Wise Men‘s travels to see the newborn baby Jesus, it terribly fails. Another problem with this song is that because of how bland it is, there are several different versions and energies with the song, and none of them run together consistently.
Olivia Dawson:Â The worst holiday song is âDo You Hear What I Hear?â Again, itâs repetition gone wrong and no one hears what they hear. Iâm also not the biggest Christmas music fan, so itâs especially hard to tolerate a boring song like this one.
Piper Hansen: The worst holiday song is âSilent Night.â Not only has every rendition of the song been butchered, but the content of the song also does not tell a new story or experience. Even if you arenât religious, most people know the ârealâ story of Christmas and its history. The song is older but should have some type of edit to create a new type of listening experience.
Adviser, Mr. James Miller:Â The worst holiday song is âBaby, Itâs Cold Outside.â Although I am aware of the feminist defense of this song, this is 2017, not 1944, and the song is now creepy and obnoxious. Maybe the drink is spiked, maybe not; maybe she really wants to stay, maybe not. Either way, make a decision and stop singing about it. Ugh.
Reece Gunther:Â The worst holiday song is âJingle Bell Rock.â The song is very repetitive and a spin-off of the classic âJingle Bells.â The song attempts to use Jingle Bells in every line of lyrics in the song, whether itâs for describing a dance move, describing a location or just repeating it to make the song even longer.
Hunter Hartlage:Â Iâm generally a pretty big fan of Christmas music, but my love for the genre (and the holiday in general) means that when I hear bad Christmas songs, itâs unbelievably frustrating. The absolute worst of these bad Christmas songs has to be âSanta Baby.â In the song, a woman attempts to literally seduce Santa Clause (gag) into giving her many insanely expensive things for Christmas. The song manages to be extremely uncomfortable to listen to while also embodying the incessant materialism that has infected Christmas in America for decades. These things combine to make âSanta Babyâ the absolute worst Christmas song.
Cicada Hoyt:Â I am not a fan of Christmas music in general, whenever it is put on I automatically put my earphones in to listen to something that wonât make me want to rip my hair out. If I had to choose, Bruce Springsteen’s âSanta Claus Is Comin’ to Town.â I just don’t like Bruce Springsteen.
Jade Broderick: The worst Christmas song of ALL TIME is Taylor Swift’s cover of âLast Christmas.â Now don’t get me wrong; the original song by Wham! is a classic song, but T-Swift just ruins it with her somewhat jarring and country tones of her 2009 dark days. The pop princess needs to stick to her own genre and stay away from holiday music.
Amberlee Tate:Â The worst holiday song is âI Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.â Although it is a classic, I have always found it to be creepy and confusing. I don’t know whether or not Santa Claus is her husband or if her son saw his mother cheating with Santa Claus. Either way I just find the song to be obnoxious.
Phoebe Monsour:Â The worst holiday song is âThe Christmas Shoes.â It is about a little kid who wants a stranger to buy him shoes so his mother can see Jesus with her feet looking pretty because she is dying. My mom hates it too.
Annie Zhang: While Iâm a fan of most Christmas songs, the one I dislike the most is âWe Wish You A Merry Christmas.” I canât stand this song because most of the song consists of the same six words — âWe wish you a merry Christmasâ– and I canât listen to this song for more than a few seconds before turning it off.
Savanna Vest: Letâs just be honest: if youâve ever been in the car with your parents one winter afternoon and the song âSanta Babyâ came on, Iâm sure you felt at least slight discomfort if not exceptional humiliation. (I wonât even give you a link to the song because you donât deserve to suffer that discomfort if you have not already been subjected to it.) Aside from the overt sexualization of a childrenâs figure, âSanta Babyâ also perpetuates the notion that women are simply creatures of materialism, especially since the era of the songâs creation was one of the post-World War II economic boom and of the domestication of the âhousewifeâ stereotype beginning to embed its roots into U.S. society.
Greg Schwartz: Chanukah Fever is pretty bad. The beat aged poorly, and the âChanukahâ aspects are really forced. The song sounds like itâs written by somebody who has no idea what Chanukah is actually like but was told to write a song about it that matches Christmas song repetitiveness. Itâs often likened to Adam Sandlerâs  âThe Hanukkah Song,â which is a shame because âThe Hanukkah Songâ was my favorite in middle school.
Bryce Grant: The two worst Christmas songs have to be âSilent Nightâ and âMistletoeâ by Justin Bieber. “Silent Night” is terrible for the same reason that Piper said. I donât like how melancholy the song is when itâs not even about a topic that should produce emotion. Itâs used in Humane Society advertisements, and it just makes people feel bad⌠Thatâs not what people need during the holidays. “Mistletoe” is just an atrocity. Justin Bieber shouldnât be allowed to sing holiday songs.
Not a fan of holiday music
Nick Kopp:Â Donât label me as a âBah Humbug,â but I am not a fan of Christmas music. As mentioned by a few of fellow writers, thereâs just too much repetition â both in the individual songs and in the genre as a whole. Olivia Evans and Olivia Dawson focused on âLittle Drummer Boyâ and âDo You Hear What I Hear,â as songs that just repeat the same lyrics over and over and over again. The same can be said of âSanta Claus is Cominâ to Town.â Even coming from Bruce Springsteen, this Christmas diddle doesnât produce any substance, just the same line reminding us that the jolly guy with a stomach like a âbowl full of jellyâ is on his way.
No holiday music is bad
Grace Bradley:Â In my opinion all Christmas songs are wonderful. Even the songs that are considered the âworstâ (although there is clearly no such thing!) are pretty great. Every Christmas song I have ever listened to helps spread Christmas joy and spirit.
Maddie Gamertsfelder:Â In my âprofessional Christmas opinion,” I believe there is no such thing as a Christmas song that doesnât make you want to turn up the music. Every Christmas song helps get everyone in the spirit of the holidays no matter who you are. Singing and dancing to all the different songs has to be one of the best parts of this time of year.
Katelyn Bale: I love all holiday songs. Holiday songs get you in the spirit of December. Whether it’s Hanukkah or Christmas music, every song has an uplifting feeling to it. I could party to holiday music all year long.
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